Five simple fucking ingredients in this bitch right here. This is some good shit to make when you are feeling bougie as fuck. High-fructose corn syrup? Naw son, I don’t play that. Hit this with some vodka though, different story. Max relax.
5 cups of water
1/2 -3/4 cup sugar (yeah, it is fucking lemonade. without the sugar it is just real sour fucking water)
3/4 cup Meyer lemon juice, about 6 lemons (you can just use the regular lemons at the store too, not a dealbreaker)
juice of half a lime
4 sprigs of fresh lavender
Bring the water to a boil in a medium pot. Add the sugar and simmer that shit on a low heat for about 5 minutes. Make sure to stir it on the regular. The sugar should be all dissolved in the water by now with no little fucking grains rolling around in there. Turn off the heat and stir in the lemon juice, lime juice, and lavender. Let it cool until it is around room temperature. Take the lavender pieces out but use a fucking spoon and not your fingers if you are going to serve that shit to other people. Put the lemonade in the fridge to cool down all the way. Serve with lemon wedges and a pinch of dried lavender if you want it to look fucking impressive.
makes about 1 quart of chill the fuck out
As some of you have been asking for the cauliflower crust recipe, I decided to write it down; I hope this helps.
1) These are the ingredients I used: cauliflower, eggs, carrots and parsley. Of course you can skip the carrots or the parsley or even add other things.
2) Shred the cauliflower, watch out for your fingers, it might hurt a little.
3) Shred your carrots and add them.
4) Cut the parsley to tiny pieces, add eggs, salt and pepper.
5) Mix everything well!
6) Get your pan and heat up some oil – I used olive oil.
7) Fill the mixture inside of the pan, disperse it a little and put the top back on the pan.
8) Wait about 8 minutes. As long as your cauliflower crust roasts, you can make a nice cup of tea and cut all other ingredients that you want to put on top of your crust, be creative, everything is possible and absolutely delicious!
9) Flip your crust - It might be difficult and about to break – try to use a plate to flip it. Once you’ve managed this, let it roast on the other side for some more minutes.
10) Now decorate it with anything you want and enjoy this healthy heaven!
ANYBODY CAN GRILL A FUCKING BURGER OR HOTDOG. Elevate your grilling game with something that simpleminded motherfuckers wouldn’t even consider. Grilling veggies is some classy shit and it only takes a few minutes. I am not talking about some played out portabella burger that tastes like a dirty sponge. Eggplant, artichokes, okra, lettuce: all that shit can be thrown on the grill and are in peak form during the spring and summer. People are guaranteed to come correct next time you invite them over. Raise the fucking bar and grill to impress.
GRILLED ROMAINE HEARTS WITH AVOCADO LIME DRESSING
2 romaine hearts, washed, trimmed, and sliced in half
1 clove of garlic, chopped up all small
2 tablespoons olive oil
a pinch of salt and pepper
Avocado Lime Dressing
1 ripe avocado
1/3 cup fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 clove garlic, chopped all small
½ teaspoon agave or honey
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 cup water
salt to taste
For the dressing, put all the ingredients in a small food processor or blender and combine until creamy. Add the pinch of sea salt and mix it in. If that shit looks way too thick, add more water until it looks like salad dressing. Pour it all into a small container and refrigerate until the lettuce is ready.
To grill the romaine hearts, heat the grill to a medium-low heat. As long as the grill isn’t crazy hot, you are good. While the grill heats up, mix the garlic, olive oil and salt and pepper in a little cup. Brush or spoon the oil mixture to the cut side of the lettuce. This isn’t the fucking dressing so go easy. Place the lettuce face down on the grill for 60 seconds or until there are clear grill marks and the leaves are beginning to wilt. Flip the hearts over and grill the other side for another 60 seconds. You want the leaves to look charred but not all fucking limp so pay attention. When they look good, put them on a plate and put some dressing over the hearts. Top with sliced green onions, chopped cilantro, and plenty of black pepper.
Enough for 4 people with some extra dressing
We shared this recipe with our homies over at GQ Online, go check them out.
If grandmothers around the world had a rallying cry, it would probably sound something like “You need to eat!”
Photographer Gabriele Galimberti’s grandmother said something similar to him before one of his many globetrotting work trips. To ensure he had at least one good meal, she prepared for him a dish of ravioli before he departed on one of his adventures.
“In that occasion I said to my grandma ‘You know, Grandma, there are many other grandmas around the world and most of them are really good cooks,” Galimberti wrote via email. “I’m going to meet them and ask them to cook for me so I can show you that you don’t have to be worried for me and the food that I will eat!’ This is the way my project was born!”
The project, “Delicatessen With Love”, took Galimberti to 58 countries where he photographed grandmothers with both the ingredients and finished signature dishes.
He acted as photographer and stylist during each shoot with the grandmothers, taking a portrait of both the women and the food they made for him.
From top to bottom:
Inara Runtule, 68, Kekava, Latvia. Silke (herring with potatoes and cottage cheese).
Grace Estibero, 82, Mumbai, India. Chicken vindaloo.
Susann Soresen, 81, Homer, Alaska. Moose steak.
Serette Charles, 63, Saint-Jean du Sud, Haiti. Lambi in creole sauce.
The photographer’s grandmother Marisa Batini, 80, Castiglion Fiorentino, Italy. Swiss chard and ricotta Ravioli with meat sauce.
Normita Sambu Arap, 65, Oltepessi (Masaai Mara), Kenya. Mboga and orgali (white corn polenta with vegetables and goat).
Julia Enaigua, 71, La Paz, Bolivia. Queso Humacha (vegetables and fresh cheese soup).
Fifi Makhmer, 62, Cairo, Egypt. Kuoshry (pasta, rice and legumes pie).
Isolina Perez De Vargas, 83, Mendoza, Argentina. Asado criollo (mixed meats barbecue).
Bisrat Melake, 60, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Enjera with curry and vegetables.
It is quite an achievement to make your job getting the world’s grandmas to feed you.
God this made me hungrier than a motherfucker
AND THAT ASADO FUCKKKKK I WANT ME SOME CHORIPAN SO BAD NOWWWW
WHOA. Grandmothers rule.
Greek yogurt is a fantastic baking swap for butter- it makes these brownies rich and chocolaty, moist and fat free! I tried using it in my lighter Greek yogurt cupcakes and it worked so well I thought I’d give it a try with brownies too! You can make these in a traditional brownie pan but I love getting perfect brownies in cupcake tins- you get the gooey center and chewy edges on every piece! Mix and match whatever fruits, extract, nuts or anything else you like in your brownies, these are just a suggestion to get you started! (The mint were my favorite though!)
For more healthy baking recipes go here. :)
Omg making these tonight!!
Just made the best batch of garlicky raw vegan ranch dressing. The flavor is so unbelievably fantastic, I’ll be making it again for sure. I used (estimations as I seldom measure anything):
- 1/2c raw sunflower seeds
- 3 cloves of fresh garlic
- lots of fresh dill and basil
- Himalayan salt
- cracked black peppercorns
- nutritional yeast
- 1c cold filtered water
I first combined the water, garlic and sunflower seeds, and left them to soak in my food processor for about an hour. Next I added the herbs and other ingredients and blended everything together until smooth, then transferred the mixture to a large glass jar. I recommend allowing the finished product to sit in the fridge for a few hours to let the flavors to bloom together fully. Pour over your favorite salad fixing, spread it on a sandwich or serve as a dip for fresh veggies. Lasts about a week in an airtight container in the fridge.
Happy raw eating! - EA